Reflexive Pronouns

Reflexive pronouns (myself, yourself, himself, herself, itself, ourselves, yourselves, themselves) refer back to the subject of the sentence. To master reflexive pronouns, you need to understand 3 key uses and avoid 2 common traps:

The 3 Uses:

1. Reflexive actions — when the subject and object are the same person (I cut myself)
2. Emphasis — to stress the subject did something personally (I myself did it)
3. Independence with "by" — meaning alone or without help (I did it by myself)

The 2 Traps:

1. Reflexive vs Object — knowing when to use herself vs her (same person vs different person)
2. Reflexive vs Reciprocal — knowing when to use themselves vs each other (self vs mutual action)

This lesson is designed for A2–B1 learners who want to move beyond basic pronoun forms and understand how reflexive pronouns actually work in English.

Before You Start: If you're not yet familiar with subject pronouns (I, you, he, she, it, we, they) or object pronouns (me, you, him, her, it, us, them), we recommend starting with Subject Pronouns and Object Pronouns first. Those lessons explain the fundamental concepts we'll build on here.

Don't confuse reflexive pronouns with:

• Possessive adjectives (my, your, his, her, etc.) — used before nouns to show ownership. "I did it myself" (reflexive for emphasis) is completely different from "I did my work" (possessive adjective).

The 8 Reflexive Pronouns

Every personal pronoun has a reflexive form. These forms follow a simple pattern: -self for singular, -selves for plural.

Formation Rule:

• Singular forms: myself, yourself, himself, herself, itself
• Plural forms: ourselves, yourselves, themselves

Common Mistake: "Theirselves" is NOT a word. The correct plural form is themselves.

Use 1: Reflexive Actions (Subject = Object)

The primary use of reflexive pronouns is when the subject and object of the sentence are the same person or thing. The action "reflects back" to the subject.

The Pattern: Subject + Verb + Reflexive Pronoun

When someone does something to themselves, we use a reflexive pronoun.

Common Reflexive Verbs

Here are the most common verbs that often take reflexive pronouns when the subject and object are the same:

Physical Actions: cut yourself, hurt yourself, burn yourself, dry yourself, dress yourself, wash yourself Mental/Emotional: enjoy yourself, prepare yourself, teach yourself, introduce yourself, express yourself, pride yourself Care & Protection: behave yourself, look after yourself, control yourself, blame yourself

Examples

• "I accidentally cut myself while I was cooking dinner." (I = the person who cut; myself = the person who was cut → same person)
• "My grandmother taught herself to use a computer last year." (She learned without a teacher)
• "The children enjoyed themselves at the birthday party." (They had a good time)
• "The cat was cleaning itself on the sofa." (Animals referred to as "it" use "itself")
• "Did you enjoy yourself at the concert last night?" (Did you have a good time?)

Note: The key question to ask is: "Is the subject doing something to the same person/thing?" If yes → use reflexive pronoun.

👉 Practice Basic Reflexive Pronouns →

Use 2: Independence with "By"

When we use by + reflexive pronoun, it means alone or without help from anyone else. This is one of the most common patterns with reflexive pronouns.

The Pattern: By + Reflexive Pronoun

Two Meanings of "By + Reflexive"

1. Alone (without other people)

• "She lives by herself in a small flat near the station." (She has no roommates)
• "Do I have to do everything by myself? Can't anyone help?" (Nobody else is helping)

2. Without help (someone might be present, but not helping)

• "My five-year-old son can already get dressed by himself." (He doesn't need me to help him)
• "The children made the cake by themselves. No one helped them." (They did it independently)

Examples

• "We painted the house by ourselves. It took us three weekends." (We didn't hire professionals)
• "He found himself lost in a strange city with no phone." (Unexpectedly in this situation — idiomatic use)
• "The town itself is quite small, but the countryside around it is beautiful." (Emphasizing the town specifically)

Use 3: Emphasis

Reflexive pronouns can be used for emphasis — to stress that the subject did something personally, not someone else. This use is also called emphatic pronouns.

The Pattern: Subject + Reflexive Pronoun (+ Verb)

When we want to emphasize that a particular person did something (not a representative or someone else), we use a reflexive pronoun.

Position 1: After the subject

• "The manager himself approved the proposal." (Not his assistant — he did it personally)
• "I myself don't understand why they cancelled the meeting." (Even I don't understand)

Position 2: At the end of the sentence

• "I spoke to the manager himself. He promised to fix the problem." (Not a receptionist — the actual manager)
• "Did you make this cake? — Yes, I made it myself!" (I did it personally, nobody helped)

The Difference: Reflexive Action vs Emphasis

Examples

• "The president himself attended the opening ceremony." (This is surprising or impressive — he came in person)
• "I myself don't understand this rule." (Even I don't get it, so it must be confusing)
• "They built the house themselves." (Without hiring builders — emphasizing their personal effort)
• "We didn't hire anyone. We did all the work ourselves." (Emphasizing independence and effort)

Idiomatic Expressions with Reflexives

Many common English expressions use reflexive pronouns in fixed patterns. These need to be learned as complete phrases.

Common Fixed Expressions

Examples in Context

• "Come in and make yourself at home. Would you like some tea?" (A welcoming phrase)
• "Please help yourselves to some cake. There's plenty for everyone." (Inviting multiple people)
• "She prides herself on never being late to meetings." (She feels proud of this quality)
• "Stop talking about yourself all the time! Nobody likes a show-off." (Self-centered behavior)

⚠️ Verbs That DON'T Use Reflexives

This is a major error zone for learners. Some verbs in other languages are reflexive, but in English they are NOT. Using reflexive pronouns with these verbs is incorrect.

Common Non-Reflexive Verbs in English

These verbs DO NOT take reflexive pronouns:

Why This Mistake Happens: This is an L1 transfer error. In many languages (Spanish, French, German, Russian, etc.), verbs like "relax", "concentrate", and "rest" ARE reflexive. English learners from these language backgrounds often incorrectly transfer this pattern to English.

Examples — Right vs Wrong

Wrong: ❌ "After a long day at work, I just want to sit down and relax myself." Right: ✅ "After a long day at work, I just want to sit down and relax."

Wrong: ❌ "Don't worry — just concentrate yourself and the answer will come to you." Right: ✅ "Don't worry — just concentrate and the answer will come to you."

Wrong: ❌ "If you feel tired, you should lie down and rest yourself." Right: ✅ "If you feel tired, you should lie down and rest."

Wrong: ❌ "We really need to focus ourselves — this project is nearly finished." Right: ✅ "We really need to focus — this project is nearly finished."

Note on "prepare": Some verbs CAN take reflexive pronouns when the meaning is "get yourself ready":

• ✅ "I need to prepare myself for the test." (Get myself mentally ready)
• ✅ "I need to prepare for the test." (Study / revise)

Both are correct, but the meaning is slightly different. The reflexive form emphasizes getting yourself mentally/emotionally ready.

👉 Practice By Myself, Emphatic & Expressions →

⚠️ Trap 1: Reflexive vs Object Pronouns

This is the most important distinction for B1 learners. Choosing between a reflexive pronoun (herself, himself, themselves) and an object pronoun (her, him, them) changes the meaning completely.

The Core Rule: Same Person vs Different Person

The decision is simple: Are the subject and object the same person?

Examples — Same Person (Reflexive) vs Different Person (Object)

Example 1: "herself" vs "her"

• "Lisa looked at herself in the mirror before leaving the house." → Lisa (subject) looked at Lisa (object) → SAME person → reflexive

• "I saw her on TV last night. She was on the evening news." → I (subject) saw a different woman (object) → DIFFERENT people → object pronoun

Example 2: "himself" vs "him"

• "He blamed himself for the accident. He was the driver." → He (subject) blamed he (object) → SAME person → reflexive

• "The teacher asked him to stay after class." → The teacher (subject) asked a different person (object) → DIFFERENT people → object pronoun

Example 3: "myself" vs "me"

• "I saw myself on the security camera footage." → I (subject) saw I (object) → SAME person → reflexive

• "My sister told me about the new job. I was so happy for her." → My sister (subject) told a different person (object) → DIFFERENT people → object pronoun

More Examples in Context

How to Check: Ask yourself: "Is the subject doing something to the same person or to a different person?"

• Same person → reflexive
• Different person → object pronoun

For a detailed explanation of object pronouns and when to use them, see Object Pronouns.

⚠️ Trap 2: Reflexive vs Reciprocal (Each Other)

The second major trap is confusing reflexive pronouns (themselves, ourselves) with the reciprocal pronoun "each other". The meaning changes completely.

The Core Rule: Action Returns to Self vs Action Between People

Examples — Reflexive vs Reciprocal

Example 1: "looked at themselves" vs "looked at each other"

• "The couple looked at themselves in the mirror and smiled." → Each person looked at their own reflection → reflexive

• "The couple looked at each other and smiled. They were clearly in love." → Person A looked at Person B, and Person B looked at Person A → reciprocal (mutual)

Example 2: "hurt themselves" vs "hurt each other"

• "The players hurt themselves during training. Three people got injured." → Each player hurt themselves (self-harm, accidents) → reflexive

• "The two teams hurt each other in a violent match." → Team A hurt Team B, and Team B hurt Team A → reciprocal (mutual harm)

Example 3: "encouraged themselves" vs "encouraged each other"

• "The players encouraged themselves by reading motivational quotes." → Each player encouraged themselves individually → reflexive

• "The players encouraged each other throughout the difficult match." → Player A encouraged Player B, Player B encouraged Player C, etc. → reciprocal (mutual support)

More Examples in Context

Visual Guide:

Reflexive (themselves):
Person A → Person A (self)
Person B → Person B (self)

Reciprocal (each other):
Person A ←→ Person B (mutual)

How to Check: Ask yourself: "Is each person doing the action to themselves, or is the action going between people?"

• Action returns to self → reflexive
• Action goes between people → reciprocal (each other)

Note: "Each other" and "one another" are interchangeable in modern English. Traditionally, "each other" was for two people and "one another" for three or more, but this distinction is rarely followed today.

👉 Practice Reflexive vs Object & Each Other →

Common Mistakes to Avoid

These are the most common errors learners make with reflexive pronouns. All of these mistakes are specific to reflexive pronouns — not general grammar errors.

Quick Summary

The "3 Uses, 2 Traps" Framework

3 Uses of Reflexive Pronouns:

1. Reflexive Actions — Subject and object are the same person (I cut myself)
2. Emphasis — Stressing the subject did something personally (I myself did it)
3. Independence with "by" — Meaning alone or without help (by myself = alone)

2 Traps to Avoid:

1. Reflexive vs Object — Same person (herself) vs different person (her)
2. Reflexive vs Reciprocal — Action to self (themselves) vs mutual action (each other)

The 8 Reflexive Pronouns

Formation: -self (singular) / -selves (plural) Common mistake: ❌ "theirselves" → ✅ themselves

4-Step Decision Flow: Reflexive, Object, or Reciprocal?

When you need to choose between reflexive pronouns, object pronouns, and "each other", follow these steps:

Step 1: Identify the subject

• Who is doing the action?

Step 2: Identify the object

• Who or what receives the action?

Step 3: Are they the same person/thing?

• YES → Use reflexive pronoun (myself, herself, themselves)
• NO → Go to Step 4

Step 4: Is the action mutual between people?

• NO (one person acting on another) → Use object pronoun (me, her, them)
• YES (action goes both ways) → Use reciprocal (each other)

Example Applications:

Verbs That DON'T Use Reflexives

Remember these common verbs do NOT take reflexive pronouns in English:

• ✅ relax (NOT relax myself)
• ✅ concentrate (NOT concentrate yourself)
• ✅ rest (NOT rest yourself)
• ✅ focus (NOT focus ourselves)

Common Fixed Expressions

• make yourself at home
• help yourself to (something)
• enjoy yourself
• behave yourself
• pride yourself on
• by myself / yourself / himself / herself / itself / ourselves / yourselves / themselves

Practice Tips

1. Always ask "Same person or different person?" before choosing between reflexive and object pronouns. This simple question prevents 90% of reflexive vs object errors. If the subject and object are the same person, use reflexive; if different, use object pronoun.

2. Learn the non-reflexive verbs explicitly. Make a flashcard list of verbs that DON'T use reflexives in English (relax, concentrate, rest, focus, meet, complain, hurry). Test yourself regularly, because L1 transfer makes these errors very persistent.

3. Practice the "each other" contrast with visual scenarios. When you see "themselves", picture each person doing something to themselves. When you see "each other", picture arrows going between people. The visual difference helps cement the distinction.

4. Master "by + reflexive" as a fixed pattern. Whenever you want to say "alone" or "without help", automatically think "by + reflexive pronoun". This pattern is extremely common in everyday English and appears frequently in exams.

5. Don't overuse reflexive pronouns. Many learners use them in subject position ("Myself and John") or after non-reflexive verbs ("relax myself") because they think it sounds more formal or polite. It doesn't — it's just incorrect. Use reflexive pronouns ONLY in the three uses covered in this lesson.

Practice All Exercises

Work through all three sets of these reflexive pronouns exercises with answers online. Each set builds on the previous one, so working through them in order gives the best results. All exercises are available as multiple choice questions and as printable PDF worksheets.

👉 Practice Mixed Reflexive Pronouns →